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My thoughts...

2 August
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  • llcoolmom@livejournal.com
I grew up in Olds, Alberta, Canada the daughter of a Pentecostal pastor. I thought I had the perfect life and family until I was 14 yrs. old and my dad told me he was physically attracted to a 16 yr. old girl who had lived with us for two years and I considered a big sister. She was younger than both of my older sisters. It was quite devastating for a sheltered Christian girl who thought world revolved around her dad. My dad continued pastoring and we kept it all a secret. The affair continued for another 3 years when they finally took off and married. I never rebelled or did anything that would cause anyone to question my faith. My husband was the first guy I ever kissed and I was married a virgin. I've never been drunk or smoked. I've always been involved in a church and served other church people. I was always in a Bible study of some sort. After having two boys, I realized they brought out a side of me I didn't know existed. I started seeing I had a dark side inspite of my spotless Christian life. I was always good at hiding this, but the stress of acting was starting to take its tole. I had made so many promises to God that I would read his Word more and pray more. My pastor's wife said one day that what was in our minds is a window into our hearts. This was kind of a scary thought, because my mind wasn't as white as my outward appearance. Pastor said that we can be free from sin. I had heard this, but thought it would only be true once we got to heaven. Thanksgiving 2004 I repented of being a lukewarm Christian and I've been "born again". My thoughts are toward God and He has set me free from sin. I'm no longer a slave to sin. It is so incredible. I just want to share my "new" thoughts with everyone I meet. I'm a new creation, I'm a brand-new woman. Thanks to Jesus. God bless all who read my journal.